Sunday, November 23, 2008

Help! Sleep!

Quinn slept so well in China. Near the end of the trip he started crying when we put him down, so we went into the bathroom for a few minutes to get ready for bed, and he'd be out by the time we were finished.

Now that we're home, going to bed has become tougher and tougher for the poor kid. He cries for about 90 minutes and then starts these
horrible institutional behaviors: rocking very hard forward and back,
hitting himself in the mouth, making odd faces. I really want him to
sleep in his own room, but this is just about killing me. I know he must
be scared - it's probably the first time he's been in a room by himself.

Our doctor suggested we read to him for an hour or until he falls
asleep. I did that last night and he went right to sleep, but when I put
him down he woke up and SHRIEKED for 45 minutes. Tonight he willed
himself to stay awake for the full hour - I could see it!- but when I
put him down he cried for only 30 seconds or so. But then an hour of the
rocking and hitting.

Help! Any ideas?????


Lindsey's mom said...

Lindsey slept great in China as well. Once we got home that changed. Seh slept in a porta crib in our room. THen we transitioned to her big crib in our room. After a year we moved her down to her room. She did great until Palate surgery and suddnely stopped wanting to sleep in her room. We moved a tot bed to our room and she does not use it. She sleeps with us. And we sleep. My bio son slept with me form age 3 and then stayed with me after our oldest died in 2006. He finally transitioned to his room at age 6 and in first grade. It will be this point pick the battles and you will all function better with sleep. I say put him in your room..but that is just what we did.

Mell said...

Sophie also slept well in China but it took her 2 full weeks to get her days and nights straight when we got back. She also started biting her fingers and throwing her head back on the floor. I was scared to death but our pedi said it is very normal. They don't control much and whatever they can, they will. I would take her fingers out of her mouth and rub them on my face and say "nice nice". After a few weeks she started rubbing her face and saying "nice nice" instead of biting. She slept with us for a few months (so good for bonding,,especially w/an older baby) and then we put her crib in our room. Now her toddler bed is in our room where she sleeps. Eventually we will move her back to her room, but for now she needs the comfort. She does take naps in her room, but doesn't want a thing to do with it at night.
It will get better,,,he is grieving and trying to control anything her can. I know it's frustrating,,,,just be patient,,it will pass! :)
Glad you are home and hope you will continue to blog!

Sara said... happy to read that you all are home sweet home!! We have been thinking of you. Love the picture of Quinn looking out the window....scanning the tarmac...neat picture!

As for the sleep...I say do whatever he needs to fall asleep and stay asleep :-) Quinn sleeping = You and your husband sleeping = One happy rested family!! It will all work itself really will. For what it's worth, we still have our little Sophie (27 months) in our room in her to our bed. We started out with her in a co-sleeper as a newborn, next to our bed. Then, we moved the crib in our room....and that's where she sleeps. We put her to bed...after making sure we have what we need out of our bedroom(basically pjs...and my husband gets his work clothes for the following day). Then we are ready for bed, we just crawl in. She usually sleeps until I'm up with my 2 other little ones..getting them ready for school. Also, my 4yr.old little boy, used to sleep in our bed....we would make a little "nest" for him between my husband and me. Now he is sleeping in his own twin bed..but needs my husband to lay down by him until he is sound asleep...then my husband sneaks out of his bed..and is "free" for the night :-) Once in a while he will get up during the night, come tap my husband on the shoulder, and want him to come back in his bed with him. But even that, we don't mind...we just look at as we are still ALL getting our sleep.

Although we are entering our first adoption journey...Who knows what our little boy will want/need as far as his sleep routine goes....although he just turned six...we are fully expecting him to either wanting to sleep in our room.. or with us. He may even want us, or one of us, to sleep with him in his bed...or on the floor..whatever...We will do whatever gives him comfort and us sleep :-) Did I mention that Monday will be day 21 in waiting for our TA??...I hope it comes soon!! Oh and he and Carter will be sharing a maybe that will help him...I don't know.

Honestly, I loved having the kids in our bed with us. I loved hearing the sounds of them sleeping (their sweet little breaths).and we loved just being so close to them...rubbing their heads, holding their hands. And, before you know it...they will be in their own beds..time goes by so quickly. I know it doesn't seem like it when you are the one that is up with them...or the one sleep-deprived. We have been there...believe me! When Carter was a baby, we would rock him to sleep in the recliner...carefully check to make sure he was "out"..then tip-toe up the stairs like a put him down...then walk away holding our breath..wondering if I was going to finally enjoy my glass of Crystal Light that I had poured over an hour all melted by now....sitting on the counter calling my get the picture :-) Oh the simple pleasures in life...But I wouldn't want it any other way :-)

You are doing all the right things. You are wonderful parents!! Love all the pics of Quinn...he is so adorable!!

Take Care....

Jill said...

Thank you all! I really appreciate your advice! Just now I read to Quinn until he fell asleep, put him in his crib and he played with his stacking cups for a few minutes and went right to sleep. We've been bringing him into our bed in the morning for some family snuggle time and that seems to be helping, too.

Thanks again - I'm so glad to know you all are out there!