Sunday, November 2, 2008

Thank you for reading!!

I am completely loving reading your comments - thanks to you all!

Some comments and answers:

- Melanie, Quinn's bracial plexus injury will definitely require substantial therapy but is far less severe that we had been led to believe. He cannot push himself up from a nap yet, which is obviously because he won't use that arm. But when he's on his tummy he pushes himself up with that injured right arm just fine. He prefers to turn his hand over and push up with the back of his hand, but when I turn his hand over for him he pushes up properly without difficulty or pain. His shoulder and elbow move normally with manipulation, but he prefers not to use them if he can get away with it. Handing him stuff from the right - a tip from a physical therapist friend - is already helping.

- Sarah, I love the name Quinn too, obviously! We were stumped about what to name our boy because we had been collecting girl names for two years. Then I saw a TV reporter with that name and it just clicked. Perfect! Also, thanks for the photo posting tip - I tried it with the last post, and it was much easier than what I was doing before.

- Lavonne, the emperor continues to speak. The orphanage workers made it clear that he only sleeps in a quiet, dark room. It wasn't until today that I wondered, what quiet, dark room is there in an orphanage??? He must have been snoozing in someone's office or something!

- Kathy, yes, we're in Beijing, and loving it. We like big cities, so we're having a great time exploring the place and taking in the crowds. Our guide took us to a super-crowded Super Wal-Mart today and even though we're Target people we had a lot of fun navigating that aisles. Got some super-cute traditional Chinese outfits, two pairs of squeaky shoes and a bunch of baby gear for about $75. Gotta love that!

- Heidi, you're a genius. The stacking cups were the cheapest thing we brought for Quinn, and they're BY FAR the biggest hit. (Second most popular is the fabric tag that I forgot to cut off a book.) For proof, check out the photos with the next post.

- Shannon, I'd love to connect. I don't know anyone in Tucson with a baby from China - just older kids. My e-mail address is jspitz@azstarnet.com. But I'm not checking e-mails there until the end of November!

3 comments:

gratefulfor8 said...

Hi you are doing great! CONGRATULATIONS! WE have 6 boys now, and two from CHINA! Don't worry overly much (he will feel your stress) just deal with it one day at a time. Ride the waves, day 5 is always magical!
I assume from your blog name that you have been to the site www.attachment.org, where they give you all kinds of information about helping attachment along. Invaluable ! Including references of specially trained attachment therapists! A true life saver when you hit snags. Also wonderful support materials you can buy. The one I'd suggest is called "taming your kitten before they become a tiger". All great techniques to help attachment and avoid future problem later on. Wish I had had it earlier!
Here is a tip...I hope you don't mind my sharing . I am now mommy to 9 and learned a lot about attachment, I wish someone had shared with me..
I hope this helps to smooth your attachment transitional journey. I have worked through attachment issues with all four of mine (Varying degrees of severity)
My tips and maybe you already know this...When feeding him bottle or otherwise make sure you guys are making eye contact and he does it back when you feed him food. Otherwise don't give him another bite till he looks at you. Right now re baby him. Same with the bottle if he avoids looking at you then take the bottle out of his mouth until he remakes eye contact. HE needs to know you guys are the source of all goodness.
Don't allow him to be in charge. You both take care of his needs, but call the shots.
Comfort him any time he is upset by holding him in a nurturing/ eye contact position. Even if he tries to push you away. That arousal (his being upset) and then your reassuring him and calming him down will help expedite the bonding.
Set boundaries, with direct and immediate consequences. Not severe he is only a abby, but a littel something.
Take food away, or put him in a crib for a 1 minute time out, tell him no, take away the object, remove him and redirect him. (believe it or not that will make him feel more secure right away)
Emperor advice: don't tolerate bad behavior. That allows him to be in control and manipulate you both, therefore learn NOT to trust you.
Remove him when he is over stimulated, to a quiet area. Sensory integration can be an issue, but massaging him or stroking him with a soft object all over him will calm him down.
Yes the boys are spoiled, I have adopted 4 from China 2 girls and 2 boys. The boys were definitely expecting Emperor treatment. Hard for them to accept that mom and Dad were in charge and NOT going to wait on them every minute and give them what they wanted the minute they wanted it.
Our blog www.cassanichronicles.blogspot.com or
OUR 6th son, 9th child and 4th adoption's journey this summer www.matthewcassani.blogspot.com
He is seven . Our others were preschoolers upon adoption.

gratefulfor8 said...

PS he is adorable !
Good luck, the younger the easier it is!
the advantage of him being an orphanage favorite is they have had some attachment prior to your getting them.
Also yes, you can post your pictures in your blog wherever you have the cursor sitting when you are typing text, then download the photos at that point , that is where the pictures will show up.
Here is what goes through a child's mind with AD as our therapist explained to us:".. I have had my heart hurt once before , so I am not going to get hurt again or trust you easily. I am going to try any behavior I can to push you away from me, so I don't get hurt again. After all I already had my heart ripped out of my chest when my birth mom let me go.
IF I can manipulate you, upset you or call the shots, then I can prove to myself that you can not be trusted! ( to care for me consistently)
However if you show me you are in charge and handle my BIG feelings calmly I will begin to feel safe with you. If you are the source of all food, comfort, and nurturing I will begin to relax and start to trust."
Sounds weird that a baby can learn to control and manipulate but they learn it very early on! IT is survival for them in an orphanage setting!
Adriana Have a blast these are precious times together!

Sara said...

Oh I love the pictures of him sleeping....sooooo sweet!! Does he have the most kissable cheeks or what?? We just got home from church and I had to come and check in on you guys :-) I was so excited to find your blog...What an amazing journey you guys are on...this is so neat....so magical! It made me chuckle when you were describing how the nannies and director were making it very clear how Quinn likes things done...and then how they placed his hat on his little head (I should say sweaty little head). Well, you definitely know that Quinn got his fair share of attention!!

Oh, and I just loved your post titled Little Boy, Lost and Found...it gave me goosebumps.